Three Levels for Forgiveness

Three Levels for Forgiveness                        from Aish.com with additions

Yom Kippur is a time of forgiveness but how do you forgive someone who has hurt you? You can’t simply pretend that it didn’t happen or that it’s not that bad.

In Hebrew, there are three different words for forgiveness and each helps us understand the dynamic involved in forgiving someone.

• Selicha

Salach has the same letters as chasal which means finished. It’s done. It cannot affect my life any more. If we do not make this decision, we allow the pain of the past, to influence our present negatively.

We consciously make the decision that we’re done with the pain of the past. We make the decision to move on. That’s the first stage. You have to want to be free.

• Mechilah

The second word takes forgiveness to the next level. The word mechilah means a tunnel which is a dark and confined place. However, if we dig deep into our soul, by G-d’s grace, we can turn that hurt into joy.

Mechilah is related to the word ‘machol’ – rejoicing. In Psalm 30:11, King David said that You HaShem “ have turned my mourning – my pain - into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy’.

It might take some time for us to work through our feelings and emotions with regard to the pain. But then, at a deeper level, we begin to see that there IS something we can learn from that painful experience. And, it is when we do this that we can let go of the pain and it no longer holds sway in our lives at any level of our being.

Yeshua said in John 8:36 that “if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed”.  The truth is that if you do not forgive others, then not only do you carry around the pain as an iron ball tied to your ankles, you have relinquished the freedom that Messiah made possible for you.

Furthermore, the same letters that spell mechilah also spell machalah – sickness. We are poisoning ourselves by not letting go!

• kaparah

The third word that means forgiveness is kaparah which is derived from the root kofer which means ‘to exchange one thing for another’. Let me illustrate this.

A married couple who are under some stress have an argument and they say unkind things to one another. They both feel angry and hurt. The next day, the distance between them is tangible and too hurtful to bear. So, they begin to discuss what happened and articulating the hurt they felt and experienced. They apologize to each other and then, an amazing thing happens.

In the act of being reconciled, they become closer than before they had the argument! Their anger, pain and hurt is replaced by a deeper sense of love and commitment. That’s kaparah. You have exchanged forgiveness, compassion and mercy for anger, pain and hurt! It is a beneficial and profitable exchange for all involved!

In Matt 3:10, Yeshua said that “the axe is already laid at the root of the trees; therefore every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire’. Allow the Father to lay the axe to the root of all the separates us in our relationships that causes disconnect and pain. The writer of the Book of Hebrews warns us to “not allow any root of bitterness, which only cause trouble, to spring up and by this many become defiled’ (Heb 12:15).

I do not make light of forgiving another person who has caused you much pain and anguish. When it comes to forgiving another human being, I am reminded of an encounter between Yeshua and his disciples that is recorded in Luke 17:3-5.
3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 
4 And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, 'I repent,' you shall forgive him." 
5  And the apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith."

To raise the dead, to heal the sick or to cast out demons – not a problem! But to forgive another human being? Lord, increase our faith! This is the only instance where the disciples asked for an increase of faith! So, we do not take forgiveness lightly but let me conclude by reminding you of our Lord’s words in Luke 18:27: “what is impossible with men is possible with God." 

The act of forgiving another human being is G-d inspired and G-d enabled! Forgiving another is a good deed that pleases the Lord!

There is one further clue. The root word ‘kofer’ also means ‘to appease, to pay the ransom, to cover over’. This is precisely what Messiah has made possible for us! In this season of teshuva, let us embrace His ways and His means to our freedom. Let’s not stop short of attaining to the fullness of what He has made possible!